How Do You Want to Feel?
Have you ever read a quote or heard a phrase that for some reason just stuck with you?
I read a book two years ago that posed a question, that for me, had never really been something that I’d ever asked myself.
How do you want to feel?”
The book I’m talking about is called, The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms by Danielle LaPorte and it totally blew my mind.
It’s so simple really. We set goals, we aspire to do things, strive to have more things all the while, never really thinking about how those things are going to make us feel. Often times we’re pushing ourselves to achieve certain status’s, ranks or milestones because it’s been ingrained in us that, that is what we “should” be doing.
You should have a permanent job, you should have benefits, you should have a pension….these were all my “should’s”. But when I had finally achieved all these things, when I had pushed and pushed to make it to this wondrous place in my life I really didn’t feel all that great. Actually, I was quite the opposite; insecure, lost and lacking purpose.
Now I know that I had it all backwards. What I “should” have been doing is focusing in on how it was that I wanted to FEEL and doing the things necessary to meet that desire.
“We have the procedures of achievement upside down. We set our sights on the babe, the boat and the bucks. We get them. Sometimes. They make us happy. Sometimes. We set a goal, we reach it, we feel great. Unless, of course, we feel empty or flustered or anxious that what we’re doing isn’t working to fill the hole in our soul.
Let me say it another way: Typically we come up with our to-do lists, our bucket lists, and our strategic plans-all the stuff we want to have, get, and the experience outside of ourselves. All of those aspirations are being driven by an innate desire to feel a certain way.
What if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel within ourselves, and then we designed our to-do lists?” (1)
Because really, you can have all the money, all the status and experience in the world, but if you aren’t feeding your soul, and stoking that fire consistently with actions that are satisfying the way you want to feel? Well then, you may be sending yourself in a circle of continual striving.
So does this mean that your every day actions will only be things that make you feel good? Well, no, not exactly. The actions you do everyday and the steps you take will ultimately be the tools that you are using to help you reach your goal of feeling the way you want to feel.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but YES, you are going to have to buck up and do things sometimes that you may not really want to do….but embrace it, keep your eye on the prize and honor the action as a catalyst to launching you in to clarity and fulfillment.
Now this was just a tid bit of the magnitude of awesomeness that this book is!! If you are looking to light your soul on fire and get the “permission slip you’ve been waiting for to fully want what you want and go for it, to expand your consciousness and your cash flow, to up the ante on your dreams and to be generous with your talents and love” (2) then I highly suggest you give it a read!
It’s been two years and I’m diving in to it again. I’m so excited to see what comes up for me this time around as my life has changed quite a bit.
You can get this book at Chapters or on amazon.
P.S. no more putting your feelings on the back burner…..ok?
(1) LaPorte, Danielle. (2012) The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. New York, United States of America: Harmony Books.
(2) LaPorte, Danielle. (2012) The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. New York, United States of America: Harmony Books.